Toughts on 5 years of not working until NOW!
It is a Seattle morning around here- Nice change of pace from warm or snow I’ll take the in-between for a day!
It has been a while since I have had the time or taken the time to sit and journal.
Bryce is here this morning with a friend with a hangover of a sleepover so pretty much he is not here, Baily is skiing with friends for the weekend, Lord keep her safe and bring her back in one piece 🤞 #momlife #momofteenlife and Patrick took Madisyn skiing for the day!
So yes today is going to be beautiful and I am focused on starting it off right!
Coffee in hand
Starting breakfast at 10:00 am because I can!
Why is it that I always feel like I need to do a re-cap every-time I journal, well its because it has been over a month since I did so!
I do feel like I am still adjusting to working full time. (Tues-Fri at the kids school / Mondays organizing at my clients or working on Rudy Adventures) It has been a huge adjustment for our family rhythms but we are adjusting.Logistics are getting figured out on the day to day- ie dinner, shuffling kids to and from events, cars being maintenced to the bed being made. The logistics in my head…. Well that is still being processed, maybe it always will.
I thought a lot of things would change with having a job. As an entrepreneur we battle so much wrestling in our heads- of so many ideas, yet trying to keep the business/brand simple, straight forward. I also thought I’d be really focused in my time when I had time- but man alive was I wrong- when I have time to myself I find myself wanting to do mindless things, de stress instead of conquering this big to do punch list: sell on Amazon, update all the picture on my website, more giveaways and networking with local brands etc!
Lets be honest, there is also this sense of no direction and loneliness that comes with owning your own business- I thought that by fulfilling that “value” with a job, would make that feeling go away. But I do find myself still reselling through- will this ever become anything or go anywhere? What is the purpose of it all, should I give it all up?
I have had a clarity that a job will not solve all my problems, although I struggled for many years with wanting a JOB. How naive of me to think it would take away all these empty thoughts. I am almost relieved to still wrestle through these thoughts because it is a reminder that I am human struggling with things just like the rest of us, and that these wrestling can be a good thing and are normal. #Iamnotalone
But man alive, I have loved my job so much!! Mostly because it is a job giving me purpose and value which I missed so much when I was not working. I love that I am contributing to our family goals- TRULY. I love that I am with the kids and probably more involved in their lives then I would be working somewhere else or not working.
I wanted a job for many years but was afraid of the commitment and it taking me away from the family. It was a hard wait but I do believe this job is PERFECT and I am thankful for being patient until it felt right!
Man it feels so good and bring so much clarity to get that out of my head!
Oh yeah and did I mention I have the SUMMES OFF yes only 11 more weeks of school! I mean come one! Perspective, perspective, my new job is truly dreamy!
I have truly struggled with this department of my life for many years, since Madisyn went to school full time (5 years) 😥 Im happy to report good things!
Now time to go make breakfast, but this was TRULY lovely!
*here is a picture of my on my first day of my new job! (October) 🤪 This picture is true to form- Could not do this all without my hubs, makes me breakfast to go every morning. I eat breakfast in the car along with the kids, coffee, coat and bag in hand! #realdeal #thisisme #nojoke #flipflops